Fees and Frequently Asked Questions
Sessions run fortnightly either face-to-face or via zoom, with both being equally as effective.
£200 per hour for couples
£150 per hour for individuals
The first session is for an hour and a half, with all subsequent sessions fortnightly for one hour.
My experience is that most couples do not want a long, protracted process, they want to be taught the tools necessary in as short a time as possible. Over the last 15 years I have honed a process that is short but effective. I do not believe in keeping people in therapy for longer than is necessary. The average number of session required by the majority of couples is 6. The exception to this is where infidelity has occurred, as this takes longer to process and overcome.
Intensive One Day Saturday Sessions
I do offer a limited number of intensive whole day Saturday sessions for couples in crisis or for those who are unable to make weekly sessions. Please email me for further details.
I operate a 48hr cancellation Policy.
Is it possible to recover from an affair/infidelity?
Many couples contact me for help following the discovery of an affair or infidelity. This is one of the greatest traumas to face a relationship. If the problems that led to the affair are not properly worked through and addressed it can leave many unresolved resentments and ongoing distrust, which can often lead to the complete break down of the relationship.
Working with a relationship counsellor will enable the reasons for the affair to be fully processed and understood. Once this has been established work can begin on permanently resolving these issues so that trust can be restored. Without restoring trust there will be no solid foundations with which to rebuild the relationship.
All too often I see couples that did not fully address the issues surrounding infidelity or an affair. When this happens there is a high chance of repeated infidelity. These couples are then faced with the more difficult task of overcoming a further trauma. My advise is that it is very important to seek professional help following an affair, to make sure all the issues are properly addressed and the relationship is able to move forward free from distrust and suspicion.
Can trust in a relationship ever be restored?
Absolutely yes, however it is of upmost importance that the reasons why the affair occurred have been fully understood. Both partners must be fully committed to the process, it takes hard work, commitment, patience and perseverance but the end result is a deeper connection and a more intimate understanding of one another.
We keep having the same arguments but never reach a resolution, how can we stop this?
Over half of couples that come to me for help suffer with this problem. A vicious cycle of bitter arguments that become more and more heated and hurtful. To overcome this problem work needs to be done to establish positive communication where both partners feel heard and understood. In order for this to happen there needs to be an environment of love, respect and trust. This loving environment enables each person to feel free to express themselves without fear of recrimination or aggression. It allows disputes to be fully resolved stopping a build up of deep seated resentment and misunderstandings. My work concentrates on improving communication, learning each other's unique language, and how to get the very best out of your communication as a couple. A couple that has learnt the art of positive communication will be able to withstand any troubles that occur. Calm, constructive and loving communication is the key to relationship happiness.
I'm not sure if I love my partner any more, can you help?
It is very important to remember that love is a verb, that is to say it requires action. Often people that have fallen out of love with their partner have stopped actively participating in their relationship. Love requires commitment and consistent effort. I have witnesses many individuals who have felt that they have fallen out of love with their partner, rekindle their feelings once they have have made a commitment to fully engage in loving behaviour. I provide many exercises that will help to rekindle these feelings of love. There are occasions when a relationship cannot be saved but I am happy to say that they are very much in the minority.
Does relationship counselling really work?
Yes over 90% of the couples that I see say that their relationship is significantly improved as a result of counselling. The important ingredients for success is that both partners are committed to the process, and are prepared to work hard and make the changes that inevitably need to take place for the relationship to work.
I am really nervous about our first session, what will it entail?
It is natural to feel apprehension before your first counselling session. But you will find it to be a very relaxed and friendly environment. The first session is about each person having an opportunity to tell the story of their relationship from their individual perspective. What works within the relationship, what doesn't and how and when the problems first occurred. After this, together we draw up a plan of how best to tackle the problems. Letting go of old negatives patterns of behaviour can be very cathartic, counselling unites a couple, putting them on the same team at last, after a long time of feeling like they have been battling against each other. Couples become united in the aim to makes things better.
How many sessions will we need?
This really depends on the nature of your problems. I have helped many couples in as few as 2 sessions, while others have taken as many as 12. Infidelity is usually the problem that takes a little longer to overcome. In 2021 the average number of sessions required for couples to resolve their problems was 6.
I want to come to counselling but my partner is refusing, can you help?
It helps for both partners to be fully committed to the process, but often men in particular struggle with the idea of counselling, seeing it as failure or weakness to come for help with their relationship. If I had a pound for every individual who wished they had come to counselling years earlier I would be very rich. However, if your partner is unwilling to come to counselling, I regularly see individuals whose partners are not yet ready to attend counselling. The tools can successfully be learnt by the individual and taken back and applied to the relationship.
Is it possible to rekindle a dying sex life?
A lot of the couples I see worry about lack of sexual intimacy within their relationship, with many couples not having connected sexually for many years. It is absolutely expected that a relationship in distress goes hand in hand with a lack of physical intimacy. Constant arguing comes with feelings of resentment and frustration which is not conducive to sex and romance. Once your relationship is back on track, love, attentiveness and kindness is the breeding ground for a return of sexual desire. Restoring intimacy takes patience, love and commitment. We are at our most vulnerable in the bedroom, so creating an environment of non judgement and kindness is key. I offer extensive exercises that help couples reignite a passionate and loving sex life. Learning to talk openly about your sex life is also important as research clearly show that it is the couples that are able to speak honestly and openly that have better quality sex.
I have low self esteem do you think it is having a negative effect on my relationship?
Low self esteem causes a multitude of issues within a relationship of any sort parent/child, boss/employee, brother/sister, among friends and husband and wife. Having a healthy self esteem is to be able to say, quite comfortably, ' I love and approve of myself, I am enough just as I am'. Low self esteem is rife in modern society, we are constantly comparing ourselves negatively to the people and images we see around us in the media and everyday life. People are constantly striving,..... to be thin enough, pretty enough, rich enough, successful enough. To have the house, the car, the exotic holidays abroad, contentedness lies just around the next corner. However, whenever the goal is reached we still don't achieve the feeling we had hoped for, so we reach for another goal. What needs to be remembered is that happiness and contentedness is not found in anything that is achieved externally, but can only be found by looking inwards and getting comfortable with who you really are. The problems that low self esteem cause within a relationship are numerous. Individuals with low self esteem will often accept behaviour that they are not happy with from their partner. They will feel ' less than' and 'not equal to', which leads to an imbalance in the relationship, which is never healthy. Learning how to look after your own needs is an important part of increasing your levels of self esteem. Healthy Loving relationships can only be found when both partners have solid self esteem and realise the importance of not supporting the needs of others to the detriment of themselves. People often confuse this behaviour with selfishness, but how can you look to support another without first supporting yourself.
Why should we come to you?
I feel very blessed to say I absolutely love what I do, I am 100% committed to helping the couples I work with achieve a happy, loving and fulfilling relationship. My results speak for themselves, my success rate is over 90% with over 50% of the couples I work with coming via referrals. My approach is to inspire and support change, knowing that if you continue to act in the same way you will continue to get the same results. I understand what makes a relationship work, I also understand what causes relationships to breakdown. I have been informed both by my extensive training, working with hundreds of distressed couples, and my own life experience with relationships. Over my 15 years of practise I have helped hundreds of couples regain a happy and loving relationship.
I hold Diplomas in Relationship and Couples Counselling, Life Coaching and Careers Guidance. I also regularly attend training courses both in the uk and abroad to keep up to date with any advances in Relationship Counselling tools and processes, and to further hone my skills. I have also trained with the Gottman Institute in America to further advance my knowledge, with further specialist training in infidelity, couples with young children, and couples affected by ADHD and by trauma and addiction.
Research shows that often couples will experience 7 years of distress before they turn to relationship counselling. My hope is that in years to come more people understand the benefit of seeking help at a much earlier stage, and save themselves years of unnecessary distress. Going to a Relationship counsellor does not show failure or weakness, quite the opposite it takes a great deal of courage to turn and face your problems.
An 85 year study at Harvard University concluded that it doesn't matter how successful you are in other areas of your life, it is the quality of your close relationships that will determine the long term happiness of your life.
Make 2022 a year of change, believe that it is possible to have a connected and fulfilling relationship. I have seen hundreds of relationships move from despair to a place of contentment and happiness, let the next relationship I help be yours.